Fashionable Function

My profile describes me as a local modern girl with old school philosophies.  I train hard and I train mean, and I strive to follow in the footsteps of those that gained real results from real methods for real reasons.  The Romans, the Greeks, the Soviets trained for optimal performance, not for show.  I believe in these methods because I train for 'go' and not for 'show', all though the 'show' comes nicely along with it.

Lets focus on the old school philosophies.  The word that has gotten my attention the most of late is 'functional', this term is being thrown around like a loose woman's name at a frat party.  This buzzword is being described as something that is 'new', a 'novelty' and the fitness giants have latched onto it like sharks to an open wound.

Over the last few years there has been a huge transition in the fitness industry towards functional training, and facilities are branding this dynamic form of training as something new, advanced and cutting edge.  The only thing that is remotely new about this form of training is the tools that are being implemented into the training and being sold and misinterpreted entirely.  The bosu ball, the balance dome, the TRX, the bloody pvc piping and other bits of balloon that are being fed to the public as forms of functionality.

Functional training is and was where it all began, before the scientifically engineered machines came onto the scene, before our gyms were littered with false plastic gimmicks.  Functional training mimics every day activities, training the body for practicality.  At no point during your day, if you are classified normal, and not a circus act will you be balancing on one hand hanging from a cable from the ceiling while shifting heavy foam pipes with your eyes closed.  That is not practical, that is stupid.

Training is not meant to be entertaining and fun, we do not paint faces and bounce around like the Easter bunny.  Training is only fun if you, like me, enjoy feeling the gradual onslaught of pain surging through your muscles, if you entertain the feeling of numbness through your entire body and enjoy the sensation of energy.  Yes to us, that is why training is fun.

Your training is your time of day you dedicate to improving your bodies performance, improving its function, strengthening its every element.  Doing this requires dedication to the boring, as my coaches always say to me, boring works.

Training like they trained back in the day, the old school way.  For unbelievable strength in the glutes, hamstrings, and back - you deadlift and you squat.  For core strength and upper body power you tackle the bars, your lift kettlebells, you drop and consistently tackle the push up, you flip tires, you do it again, and again and again.  For conditioning you push sleds, pull sleds, battle ropes, lift kettlebells and you do it again, and again and again.

These methods work, kettlebells, pull up bars, dipping bars, bar bells etc are what were used back in the day before the commercialized fad of gyming hit the world, these methods were tried and tested by soldiers in battle.  These methods work, and have always worked, they are not new, they are not advanced and they are not a fad.  They are effective.

Today's functional is dysfunctional.